Naruto roks 420
by Calloniel
Summary: Story for the Prompt Exchange Challenge. 'I took a deep breath and looked at him. "So, do you happen to remember what happens on the 17th of May?" My strained smile must have warned him to my impending explosion. "You're birthday," he said instantly. "Now, do you remember what you DID on my birthday?" He gulped.' OC


Ah, fuck a monkey, this prompt _sucked_. Like really, this was actually kind of hard? Well, it's simple, but I try to avoid clichés such as, 'Oh, you were with this chick last night, why!' and 'oh, no reason!' and then it turns out he was asking the chick for girl advice for a present to get her or something. I found it hard to deviate from the same path, but I tried? Actually, this might be considered cheating ^^' Either way let the chaos being.

ALSO, for those of my (few) followers who are wondering, _what in Gods name is she doing posting a new crap Naruto fanfic when she should be working on anchor/Just Call it Intuition?! _The answer, my readers, is…

School.

The dreaded, monstrous thing we students know as school. And homework. And a life. And jobs. Being a senior is not all its cracked up to be! Not to mention that for anchor, I write it all in my pretty little notebook before typing it all up, and I'm running out of written words.

Anyhow. I don't own Naruto, just my own character!

* * *

"I heard you were with Orochimaru yesterday evening."

Sasuke scoffed, shoving his wet clothes into the dryer aggressively. Naruto looked at him in concern from his seat on top of the dryer next to him. The Laundromat was empty except for the two of them and their piles of dirty laundry. His friend ignored him, focusing his annoyance on folding the newly dried clothes into neat squares.

Naruto persisted. "Why were you there when you said you were at Shino's?" The blondes voice was unnaturally quiet. He looked at his hands, which were folded in his lap. They clenched into fists. "I thought we talked about this-"

"No," Sasuke interrupted. "You talked, I pretended to listen and waited for you to shut up." Metal slammed against metal as he shut the door forcefully and the machine started to rumble. "What I do is none of your business," he muttered, his voice dark.

Naruto jumped down from his perch, arms outstretched in desperation. "It _is_ my business! You're my best friend, Sasuke, and I don't want to see you get involved with a shady dealer like-"

He was interrupted when Sasuke whirled about, grabbing the teen by his black shirt and slamming him against the wall. Naruto's face was wide with shock and pain, while Sasuke opened his mouth to speak. A shot was heard, and the wall behind Naruto's head cracked like an egg.

"_Cut!_" I shouted, running a hand through my fiery red hair angrily. The cast and crew moaned in unison. Sasuke scowled, releasing his co-actor who slid down against the wall with a sigh. I whirled around in my director's chair, giving my best glower. "Whose the moron who set the timer on the wall?" After a moment of hesitation, a short man came forward, wringing his hat in his hands. I let him suffer under my blue eyed stare as my scowl intensified. "Tell me, sir, do you think it looks professional for the plaster to break _after_ Sasuke slams Naruto into it?" I didn't give him a chance to respond. "_NO!_ Do it again! Reset!" I demanded. My crew complied immediately like the obedient dogs they were, and hustled about moving props and mike stands.

I hopped off my chair and stalked to the refreshments table, muttering obscenities under my breath all the while. Unbelievable! Was it really so hard to set a timer? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, someone shoot me now. It occurred to me that there was at least a five-foot radius around me where people did not dare approach, but I was in such a foul mood I didn't even care.

"The directors been really grumpy lately," someone said.

"She's been working us to the bone," another whined. That sounded suspiciously like Chouji.

"I heard that her and Naruto are fighting."

"What? Why?"

"Beats me. The fact that the two of them got together in the first place is crazy. They're total opposites…"

The whispers continued. I shoved a piece of watermelon in my mouth, chewing thoughtfully. It was true. Naruto and I were fighting. And we were together. Like… _together_ together. _Not for long if he keeps this up,_ I thought darkly, watching out of the corner of my eye as the man in question (man, pfft, hardly) walked into the green room with Sakura, his romantic interest, at his side.

I cracked a water bottle open viciously and drained it. "Stupid cute boys," I grumbled. "Stupid feelings. I _hate_ him!" Turning, I stalked back to my chair, plastic bottle crinkling in my palm. I sat with a huff, sliding low in my seat and staring at the black ceiling high above me.

Naruto and I met on the set of _If You Say So_, my first time producing a full-length feature film and Naruto's second time acting the supporting role. We originally didn't get along – me, the fiery haired demon with the cold personality and him, the blonde happy-go-lucky goof who always had a smile on his face. About three quarters of the way through filming though he asked me out on a date. It was the most adorable and awkward thing that I had ever seen. He had approached me after shooting, scratching the back of his neck and holding a small white flower. I couldn't really say no.

It ended up with us stumbling around town at three in the morning laughing like morons and crashing at his place. We didn't do anything, honest. There may have been some cuddling cause his heater wasn't working, but nothing happened. He made me ramen in the morning (I never let him cook again, _ever_) and we spent a majority of the next morning playing board games and talking. Despite our personality differences, we got along like… like… chocolate and peanut butter, or music and lyrics. We just clicked. We'd been dating ever since.

I played with the cap of my bottle. Either way, after two years of dating, he _obviously_ didn't know me well enough to remember my birthday. His excuse? A photo-shoot. A freaking _photo-shoot._ Over his girlfriends birthday! Ugh! What an… my thought trailed off as my assistant, Hinata, approached, clipboard held before her like a shield.

"Um, M-Maika?" She stuttered.

Sighing, I slapped a hand over my face, wincing at the resulting pain. "What?" I mumbled. As angry as I was, I couldn't take it out on her. She was just too damn cute! The thought led me to thinking… why couldn't I just be lesbian? I stared at the girl through my fingers.

….

…. _Nah. Too much effort._

The girl twitched slightly, a nervous tick of hers. "Um, we-we are all set to begin ag-again." I nodded and gestured with my other hand, letting my eyes drift shut. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Love sucks. I hate it. And do you know the worst part? He didn't even say _sorry_. It was like he totally forgot! How could he?! I mean come on, two years! Two years we'd been together and he just totally blows off my birthday. Well, we'll see who's laughing when October 10th comes around…

Despite my anger, my heart started to flutter as Naruto emerged from the green room, water bottle in hand and laughing at something Sasuke said. My icy frown melted just a bit. Even when I'm super angry with him, I can't help but love him at the same time. Except for that one incident, he had always been there for me. He even helped me bury my ball python Rosie when she passed away last year! And he _hates_ snakes! Not to mention that when my mom had a stroke, he stayed with me in the hospital for two weeks until I felt that I could go home. Seriously, he was the best boyfriend that I had ever had-

_But he forgot my birthday._

And here comes the rage.

I lifted up my microphone, irritation provoking me to shout despite my voice already being enhanced. "Let's get this show on the road people! Sasuke! Naruto! Get on stage you morons! Let's do it right this time." Naruto shot me a look, blue eyes so similar to my own filled with concern. I just smiled. _Bastard._

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With a heavy sigh and a heavy heart, I shoved the key into the door of my apartment, mumbling obscenities as I struggled with my groceries. While a director, I wasn't exactly rich (yet) and I still was stuck with a dingy apartment. It kinda sucked, but it was home, and I loved it all the same. There were too many good memories of this place to leave now. And the neighborhood wasn't all that bad.

I gave the old wood a vicious kick and the door swung open. Darting inside, I placed the groceries on the counter and sprinted to the alarm, quickly pressing in the code to stop that obnoxious ringing. It beeped at me happily, informing me that the alarm was off in pleasant voice. I returned to the kitchen after shutting the door again and started to put away the groceries. Milk, eggs, carrots, fruit roll ups, Special K Bars, bread, Frosted Flakes, lunch meats, Ramen, cheese- Wait.

I held the box full of instant ramen cups and sighed. Out of habit, I kept a stash of the treat here for Naruto when he came over. Which was often. Moaning at the reminder of the _bane of my existence_, I put the box in its usual place on top of the fridge, standing on my tiptoes to reach. I'd just give it to him later or something.

When all the groceries were put away, I saved the paper bags and walked down the hallway into my room, kicking my shoes off into space as I did. As I passed by Rosie's old tank I let my fingers drift along the glass before turning into my bedroom. Some of Naruto's stuff was on my floor (actually, I think a majority of the stuff on the floor was his) and I picked up one of his shirts and gave it a sniff. Clean. It was now mine.

I didn't bother showering and stripped to my underwear. You know, there is nothing like taking off a bra after a long day of work. Boys, imagine wearing a boa constrictor around your dick all day and that's what a bra is. "Freedom!" I sang, lifting the shirt over my head and shoving my arms through the holes. Hmm, smelled like him.

Stepping into the adjoined bathroom, I picked up my brush and ran it through my shocking red hair, wincing every once in a while at the tangles. My hair was actually your average brown color, but the bright orange/red flame color seemed to suit me more. It was as I was putting toothpaste on my toothbrush (as least, I think it was mine) when I heard a key in the lock and the tell tale sound of my boyfriend coming through the door.

I glowered at my reflection, not in the mood to deal with the problem just yet. Neither of us were very talky when it came to our feelings, if only because we both just understood each other. So now that we were at a point where neither of us knew what to do… it was scary. And I wasn't ready to face that yet.

"Maika? Hey, you here? I- Oh! Ramen!" I listened as the blonde bustled about in the kitchen and I leaned against my mirror.

"I'm going to die," I informed myself. The girl in the mirror with the navy blue eyes nodded back at me.

"Yup, you're screwed," she said.

I frowned. "Unhelpful bitch." Then I scowled. "Why am I talking to myself?"

"Who knows? We're a bit on the nutty side."

"God, I need medication." I shoved away from the mirror and out of the bathroom. Making the trek to my kitchen, I could hear the whistle of the kettle and the smell of ramen filled my kitchen. I wanted to run and hide. I didn't want to face the good-looking man in my kitchen making noodles. I really didn't want to! I didn't! Nope! Time to chicken out! ABORT! ABORT!

Naruto turned and saw me. "There you are! You left rehearsal so fast I didn't have a moment to catch you," he grinned, eyes crinkling up. I shuffled into the kitchen and leaned against the fridge. When I didn't smile back his lips turned downward. I tried to stay angry with him, I really did. But it was kinda just coming out as sadness now.

He must have sensed it. To my surprise, he turned away from his ramen and leaned against the counter, arms folded across his chest. There was silence as he stared at me and I stared at a fascinating stain on my tile. When did that get there? I could have sworn I mopped a week ago. Well, it _was_ a week ago- "So… are we going to talk about why you're avoiding me?" He finally said.

Whoops, anger's back.

I turned my glower on him and watched him flinch. "Ex_cuse_ me?" I said, baffled. "Why I'm- Are you _serious_ right now?" He blinked at me, honestly confused. Pushing away from my leaning position, I held up my hands. "Okay, okay." I took a deep breath and looked at him. "So, do you happen to remember what happens on the 17th of May?" My strained smile must have warned him to my impending explosion, because he started to tread carefully.

"You're birthday," He said instantly, watching me with a wary eye. I twitched.

"Yes!" I said, applauding sarcastically. "Now, do you remember what you did on my birthday?"

He gulped. "Look, I can explain-" Naruto started, one palm out in a defensive gesture.

_Boom._

"No!" I shouted and I walked forward if only to shove him. "No! That's not okay!" I started to bang on his chest with my fists. Seeing how he was over a full head taller than me and was rock solid, it didn't do me much good. "It was my birthday and you were _gone_, the only person I could really share it with and you were at some- damn- photo-shoot!" I didn't notice I was crying until Naruto grabbed my wrists, moved my flailing limbs into one hand and wiped the tears away with a thumb.

"Maika," he said softly, staring at me with gentle blue eyes. I sniffled, still struggling futilely against his grip. "Maika." This time was a firm, no-nonsense tone of voice I only heard from him rarely. I looked up at him. "I know how much your birthday means to you. I truly do. I _know_ this. Just like you know that I love you and would never intentionally hurt you."

Why did my birthday mean so much to me? Because that was the day that my mother left me at an orphanage with a false promise to come back and get me when she had the money to take care of me. Every day on my birthday I had waited for her. I had issues, especially concerning _that day_, much like he the blonde did with his own birthday, and the fact that he _knew_ that I was possessive and had trust issues and he just-

Naruto pulled me after him as he headed to my bedroom, kicking off his shoes as he went much like I did. My wrists were still trapped in his hand as I followed unwillingly. Naruto picked up a medium sized brown bag as we went, but I ignored it. I didn't want any late presents because he _forgot_. When we got into the room he released me and I rubbed the skin absently. He went and sat on my bed, leaning against the headrest with the bag on the floor by his side.

He stared at me expectantly. "Well? Are you going to listen to me?" After a moment of hesitation I gave in, crawling over the bed to lay beside him, resting my head against his chest. Yeah, I give in easy, so what. He ran his hand through my hair and sighed. His head banged against the wall a few times as he thought. Finally he spoke.

"Okay, first of all, I didn't forget your birthday."

"But-" I started, already feeling agitated all over again, but he quickly silenced me.

"I'm talking here, shush." He put a finger against my lips before he continued. "So, I wasn't really at a photo-shoot." I opened my mouth again to speak, but he once against shushed me. "I was in California. And before you say anything, I lied because I was there for a reason." He reached over and picked up the bag from earlier, taking a smaller white box out of it. My eyes widened at a familiar sound. Sitting up I took it from him and eyed him. The boy gestured for me to open it with a grin.

The small box sat innocently in my lap and I lifted the flap with hesitant patience. The responding hiss and the sound of scales on cardboard made me gasp in surprise. Honestly, I expected jewelry or a book, but… a living thing? And a _snake_ of all things? Despite the animals hissing protests, I gently lifted him (I checked) out of the box and held him gently in my hands. He was just a baby. The snake curled up into a coil and stared that blank python stare, occasionally flicking his tongue out to taste the air.

Naruto rested his chin on my shoulder, watching me coddle the baby reptile. "He's a relative of Rosie," he said quietly, nuzzling my neck. I blinked, before turning to him in shock.

"What?"

He nodded towards the little one in my hands. "He's the son of her sister. I went to California to meet the breeder and get the little rascal." Blue met blue as we stared at each other. Slowly, at the same time, we both smiled and I laughed. "He's a nasty little fucker," he grumbled in good humor. "Bit me twice! Look, here!" And Naruto proved it, holding out his hand, exposing four rows of jagged flesh from the snake's baby teeth. With my free hand I traced the scabs, still caught in the joy of the moment.

Wow, I feel like a fuck.

"You did that for me?" I whispered, honestly shocked. Really, who can say that their boyfriend flew to another city to get a snake (which he despises with his entire being) related to their old, recently deceased ball python? I can!

He shrugged and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. "Well, yeah." Here he looked away, awkward and stiff. "I just, you know, wanted to get you something special and I, well, I um, know that you were feeling real bad about Rosie and so I thought-"

"Oh, shut up," I grumbled and dragged his head down to mine and gave him a kiss, pressing my lips against his. The old thrill was still there, hot and kicking, and my stomach lurched as his hand cupped my cheek, drawing me closer. I playfully nibbled on his lower lip. Suddenly he gasped, jerking away from me. I pouted, leaning forward only to see something dangling from his throat.

My python, to be precise, with fangs latched securely to his neck and a part of his ear. Tears watered in his blue eyes and I couldn't help but start to laugh. "Oh, you poor baby," I cooed, gently prying the snake away from Naruto's flesh. I cradled the angry snake in my hands, careful not to put him near my face. "Aw, you angry little man, are you jealous?"

"I'm regretting this," Naruto said flatly. Pinpricks of blood seeped from his skin. I smacked him gently on the arm.

"Don't be a wuss," I said, letting the baby slither back into his box. I would later introduce him to his auntie's old cage where he would grow to be a big boy and eat big boy things like rats and shit. With an angry little huff he permitted me to shut him in the box, which I placed on the ground beside the bed. I turned back to Naruto, who had grabbed a tissue from the nightstand to blot at the blood and was watching me with a strange look in his eye.

Watching me watching him, the blonde gave me a smirk. "You know, you look good in my shirts." He crawled over me and I slid down into the mattress, feeling giddy and a familiar tickle in my stomach. He peppered kisses along my neck and cheeks, avoiding my lips. "Do you forgive me?" He whispered.

I thought about it. I really did. But… who could resist those blue eyes?

I sure didn't.

* * *

"Cut!" I screamed, furious. Sasuke looked up from where was lying on the bed, glaring at me. Sakura, who was straddled on top of him, rose up, putting her hands on her hips.

"What?! I thought I did it right this time!" She whined, adjusting her neon pink bra. I made a face, which was funnily enough the same face Sasuke made. Aw, he was such a good little actor.

I lifted up my microphone. "No, you didn't." I heaved a sigh and rubbed my face annoyed. "Take a break!" I shouted. "Sakura, get some water or something. Saskue, go find a bucket, you look like you're about to puke." The pinkette huffed and walked off stage, an assistant handing her a robe. Sasuke obeyed and ran off to the bathroom.

A familiar pair of arms wrapped around my neck from behind and even more familiar lips trace the contours of my cheek. A grin sneaked onto my face and I looked into a pair of deep blue eyes. "Hey Darling," He whispered into my ear, nibbling on my lobe gently. I giggled and pushed him away.

"Stop it, I'm working."

"So am I."

"Yeah, but you only have two scenes today. I have to work through _all_ of them." I let my head fall back against his shoulder, our cheeks pressed together. "You know, I was thinking."

"Yeah?" Naruto asked, standing up to his full height. My head was now resting against his chest as I looked up at him. His next scene was where he got knifed by one of Orochimaru's thugs, so his skin was pale and his shirt had blood all over it.

I gave a hum. "I was thinking of naming him Minato."

Naruto's face went blank. "The snake?"

Nodding, I held his hand in mine, twisting our fingers together. "Yeah. I think that's a good name," I said cheekily, a smile stretching across my face at my boyfriend's reaction.

"Nuh-uh, no way," He protested, voice flat. "You are not naming your vicious creature after my father. Nope, not happening."

"Aww, don't be mean to Minato!"

"You _aren't _naming him that!"

"But I already asked him this morning and he said he liked the name!"

"He's a snake, _he doesn't talk._ Name him something else!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Maika!"

"Do you want Ramen next time you come over?"

"…. _Fuck._"


End file.
